Cover Letter

To Ron and my dearest friends:

Welcome to Cherry’s Writing Portfolio. This is a collection of my writing works in Mr. Ron Corio's course-the Academic Writing course of Fudan University in the spring 2007. During this semester, Ron concentrated on the text book entitled “The International Story: An Anthology with Guidelines for Reading and Writing about Fiction.” I really devoted a lot of time and energy to this course, for it arouses my interests in writing. I am the year three student. The course is not compulsory for me, but I have never regretted my choice. Moreover I am delighted to see all the efforts I presented here, which are the witnesses of my progress. All the stories I have read in my text book impressed me a lot. I learnt from writers' skills and memorized the instructions on my essay writing which is an enjoyable experience when regarding it as an upward process. Content and opinion are more important than structure. However, formal writing strategies including a strong thesis statement, skills in incorporating quotations effectively and usage of punctuation are very important. Formal Writing shows the respects to our readers.

I have met of a lot of friends here who also have a passion for English writing. We communicate with each other and comment on others’ writing works. They helped me a lot in our peer reviewing. We gained the further understanding of our essays through positive arguments and free exchange of personal opinions. Moreover, the most important thing is that we establish a solid relationship after class.

In the following part, you will see my 3 drafts based on the time series, my final timed-writing which is about a filmed advertisement and my reading log dealing with the Grass-Eaters by Krisshnan Varma. My essay is abouth the Americanization of Shadrach Cohen.

First of all you will see my essay drafts. I received feedback on my interim draft from both Ron and my classmates. I easily identifed my thesis statement because the most interesting story among the five which fascinates me is about the Jewish father and his sons. Deep esteem from my heart to the protagonist contributes to my clear thesis. However, I encountered some problems to make it more concrete. I analyzed Shadrach’s virtue in three words- prudence, tolerance and diligence. These three words are ended with the same rhythm which I am quite satisfied with. However, my efforts in pinpointing the evidences from the passage to support my thesis don't go smoothly. Lack of vocabulary hinders me from expressing my opinions clearly. I will spare every effort on vacabulary  in my future writing learning.

Second, I finished  timed-writing three in our last lab meeting. I am a little nervous, because I hope to work on my best. We practice timed-writing at the beginning in every one of class meetings. I was always confined to the definite expression to support my topics. However, I received encouraging comments in my first two timed-writing from my instructor. His appreciation works as chemical substance which catalyses my courage. I knew the necessity to practice more to achieve better allocation for time and organization of my writings.

Last, I demonstrate my reading log for the Grass-Eaters which I was most satisfied. I like to read more background information about the setting, the characteristics of the protagonist and the writer of the story. I always express my feelings with the association of extra information. I regard online discussion room of nicent as a successful way of teaching.

Yours,

Cherry Yin

8 Comments 22.6.07 06:56, comment

Draft Two

A Jewish father

The Jewish reveals the strong spirits and tough characteristics when they are given even little chances. This strong will to survive which internalized by their religious beliefs and national destiny helps them to overcome every challenge they meet, especially in the business realm. The Jewish really show the talents for operating business, especially the elderly who keep their tradition. I like this story about a shrewd father who got back his dignity and respect before his children who are trying to persuade him to be a real American. It discusses the question that whether minorities should melt into American society even at the cost of abandoning their religions and make us project to our real life.

From my further reading, the writer intended to tell the readers that it was Shadrach’s virtue --prudence, diligence, tolerance and his practice of religion that won back the respect from his sons. Reviewing the details about Shadrach’s sudden turning of attitude towards his sons which was described as a worm’s turn by the writer, I have a much clearer picture about his characters.

(evidence1 for tolerance )“To their chagrin, however, they began to realize, after a few months that their father was clinging to the habits and customs of his old life with a tenacity that filled them with despair.” From the passage we see that Shadrach refused the new lifestyle introduced by his sons. I think Abel and Gottlieb have their own reasons to persuade their father to trim his beard while rejecting the grace after meals. It is obvious that Abel and Gottlieb had conflicting emotions toward their father—on the one hand, they esteemed him and daren't disobey his orders; on the other hand, Shadrach's strict clinging to the Jewish habits and customs really agitated and embarrassed his sons. Meanwhile he seemed to take no interest in their business affairs, but he responded, almost cheerfully, to his son’s requests for money. In another word, he himself didn’t intend to overtake the business from his sons. He never lost his temper; never upbraided them. He knew the change happened on his sons, however, as a father, he showed the tolerance for his children. This is a clue for the readers to understand his turning in attitude with a crash.

(evidence 2 for diligence) “What you both lack is sense. If becoming Americanized means becoming stupid, I must congratulate you upon the thoroughness of your work.”
No one ever denied Shadrach’s sense as a business men, he blamed his sons’ Americanization as becoming foolish and lazy. He postponed the working hour from six to eight and daren’t his sons suffer from the long working time as a shop assistant. He knew one of the keys to success is being diligent and he was aimed to teach his sons the lesson.

(evidence 3 stick to his religion)  “ His was the true money-maker spirit; there was something wonderful in the swiftness with which he grasped the most intricate phases of trade; and where experience failed him some instinct seemed to guide him aright.” I should say that Shadrach’s instinct was caused by his essence as a Jewish who are famous for good sense as a “money-maker”. Their beliefs in God teach them being a candid person, being a piety son of God. The practice of religion inherited from Jewish ancestors guided Shadrach. He knew a nation without land, law and boundaries at least should stick to their religion. Ringlets, praying cap, grace after meals and all the respect behavior to Jehovah makes Jewish recognize their brothers and sisters throughout the world. They are a whole family even scattered in every corner of the world. They embrace people who respect their religion as Shadrach did to Gottlieb’s girlfriend- Miriam. He was previously raged at Gottlieb’s embarrassment to introduce his Jewish-styled father to Miriam.

The ending shows we welcome the consolation that religion brings, and we cling to it as a family. Shadrach Cohen succeeded in not only his business realm but also win his son’s filial reverence.

The only thing that from the very beginning, Jewish religion means the worship of Jehovah, who has chosen Jewish as His children on earth, and that the same Jehovah rules supreme over America. However, the pluralistic ideal in American civic life itself emerges in the struggles of excluded communities to join the mainstream while maintaining their own distinctive qualities, practices, and ways of life. That is why some young people chose to be in an Americanized style. They have to face more pressure than their parents when working or communicating with their peers. Fortunately, in the course of Shadrach Cohen's 'Americanization', Shadrach wisely produced a harmony of the Jewish and American value.  Being a human, you also have the rights to choose or modify your own religion.